Dear Abby: Abusive husband says he’s changing
Dear Abby I have been married years My husband is from another country and the last six years haven t been easy I ve been the sole provider for our family on the advice of our lawyer while we were getting his paperwork complete my husband refused to work illegally I have stood by this man through thick and thin and endured his verbal emotional and even a little physical abuse I m ashamed to admit The final straw came when he was having a bad day and threw a tantrum in community because our toddler was crying After he smashed his fishing pole I reported him his behavior was childish and ignorant He explained me he would show me childish when we got home I took my child and have been staying with my mom for the last six months I also have to mention that my husband has been going through undiagnosed mental crises since COVID Since we left he has realized how badly he treated me and seems to be getting help on his issues Should I trust that he s changed to be a better man or do I walk away He s a great father and was a stay-at-home dad until he started working right after I left I never want my child to think it s OK to be abused or heaven forbid treat someone else that way Bewildered in Indiana Dear Bewildered I agree that tolerating mistreatment sets a terrible example for your child You state that your husband seems to be getting professional help for his issues Before making the decision to reunite or walk away punt Make sure he is getting the help he says he is and not just romancing you Joining him during specific sessions with his therapist might reassure you and prove beneficial for both of you IF you decide to remain married to him Dear Abby I have had a friend since junior high We have kept in touch off and on over the years The last limited years she and her hubby have desired to visit us more often We have visited them in their state too When we are their guests we dependably go all out to show our appreciation for them hosting us by taking them out for dinners etc During their last visit we made nice dinners and provided alcohol which her husband drank most of of He bought himself more but didn t think to get us anything There was also never an offer to take us out not even to breakfast although they took themselves out several times We felt taken advantage of We have decided we no longer want to host them because of their selfishness How do I tell my friend the next time they ask to come I know they will Feeling Used in Colorado Dear Feeling Used The next time the woman calls and asks to visit tell her it isn t convenient or you have other plans and will be unable to host her and her husband Then suggest they make a reservation at a nice hotel I m betting they won t take you up on it and you ll be firmly off the hook Repeat as often as is necessary Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren also known as Jeanne Phillips and was founded by her mother Pauline Phillips Contact Dear Abby at www DearAbby com or P O Box Los Angeles CA
